Pouring Rain Postpones Olympic Events

Hello, ladies and gentlemen. As if the French weren’t having enough trouble lately, they managed to plunge Paris into darkness just as the Olympics kicked off.

Yes, you heard it right. Egyptian darkness descended upon the City of Lights over the weekend, leaving numerous districts of the French capital completely dark. Social media was ablaze with photos and videos of a pitch-black Paris, with streetlights out and buildings cloaked in darkness. What a way to welcome the world, right?

The blackout struck around midnight, affecting several districts. While officials scramble to explain the cause, all we have are brief media reports and no solid answers. Was it a technical glitch, sabotage, or just another mishap in a series of unfortunate events? Your guess is as good as ours.

Some folks are even saying this blackout is divine retribution for the blasphemous opening ceremony Paris put on display. The ceremony drew condemnation from American leaders, world leaders, Christian groups, and athletes alike over its depiction of one of the most revered events in Christianity.

The performance appeared to resemble Leonardo da Vinci’s famous painting of The Last Supper. But instead of a respectful homage, the ensemble included drag queens, a transgender model, and a naked singer styled to resemble the Greek god Dionysus. Talk about pushing the envelope—and for many, it pushed way too far.

Disgusting…

The Olympics had just begun, bringing thousands of athletes, journalists, and tourists to the city. One would think the French would have everything under control for such a significant event. Instead, Paris decided to play a game of “lights out” right when the world was watching.

But wait, there’s more! On Friday, just hours before the Olympic opening ceremony, the French railway operator SNCF announced a “mass attack” aimed at paralyzing the TGV high-speed train network. Acts of arson near the TGV tracks led to widespread disruptions expected to last through the weekend. According to sources, these might be acts of sabotage. One of the attacks was reportedly “thwarted,” but the damage was already done.

Outgoing Minister of Sports Amélie Oudéa-Castéra condemned the attacks, stating, “Playing against the Games is playing against France, against your own camp, against your country.” Bold words for a country that seems to be playing against itself lately.

As if power outages and train disruptions weren’t enough, pouring rain on Saturday forced the postponement of the men’s Olympic street skateboarding competition and delayed tennis matches. The drenched opening ceremony on Friday saw thousands of athletes parading on barges on the Seine, waving to the crowd despite the downpour. Because nothing says “welcome to Paris” like a soggy, darkened city struggling to keep the lights on and the trains running.