FBI Asks Residents Not To Shoot Down Unidentified Drones

By
Rachel Stevenson
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Ah, New Jersey—the Garden State, now apparently the Drone State. The skies are buzzing with unidentified flying objects, and the FBI is busy warning residents to keep their itchy trigger fingers off the trigger and their lasers out of the sky. If you didn’t know better, you’d think this was a scene out of a Twilight Zone episode. But no, it’s just another day in America, where the government’s official position is: “Don’t worry, we’ve got this—except we don’t really know what ‘this’ is.”

The FBI’s Newark office and the New Jersey State Police are in full hand-wringing mode, issuing statements about the dangers of mistaking drones for, well, not drones. Apparently, people have been shining lasers at what they believe to be unmanned aircraft, which, in some cases, turn out to be manned. (Pro tip: If you’re going to mess with lasers and the sky, maybe confirm that your target isn’t piloted by a human being first.)

Oh, and the feds are also cautioning against shooting down drones, warning of “legal repercussions and safety hazards.” In other words, if something mysterious and buzzing is hovering over your backyard, just relax, let it do its thing, and trust the government to figure it out. Sure. That always works out.

Meanwhile, John Kirby, the National Security Council spokesperson, gave what might be the most unconvincing briefing yet. According to him, the sightings consist of a mix of everything: commercial drones, hobbyist drones, law enforcement drones, helicopters, airplanes, and even—wait for it—stars. Yes, folks, the government thinks some of you might be mistaking celestial bodies for high-tech spy drones. Are we really supposed to believe that stargazing and paranoia are the same thing?

Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas added his usual brand of soothing vagueness to the mix. According to him, there’s “no threat or nefarious activity” here. These are just your run-of-the-mill drones, commercially available and totally harmless. You know, the kind you can pick up at a convenience store. Because that’s what everyone wants—a sky filled with convenience store drones. Nothing suspicious about that at all.

Contrast this with President-elect Donald Trump, who once again managed to cut through the noise. Trump called out the government for its lack of transparency, pointing out the obvious: the military knows where these drones are coming from and where they’re going. If they can track a missile from launch to impact, they can surely trace a drone back to its garage—or wherever it’s being operated from. Yet, instead of offering real answers, they’d rather leave Americans scratching their heads. According to Trump, this whole situation smells of intentional secrecy, and he’s not wrong.

Local officials like Washington Township Mayor Matthew Murello are also raising alarms, highlighting the potential for drones to carry payloads or be used for aggressive purposes. And he’s not wrong, either. This isn’t fearmongering; it’s basic common sense. The technology is there, and the possibilities are unsettling.

At this point, the government’s lack of urgency is almost as concerning as the drones themselves. Americans don’t need condescending lectures about lasers and stars. They need clear answers about what’s buzzing over their heads. But if the past is any indicator, we’ll get more hand-waving and half-truths before we get the full story. Until then, the message seems to be: Sit tight, trust the experts, and try not to look up.

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