You’ve really got to wonder what’s going on in someone’s head when they decide the best use of their time is to attack a Tesla.
Not protest Wall Street, not march against some legislation they don’t like—nope, just take a swipe at an electric car. And not just any electric car. A Tesla. The very vehicle the left used to fawn over like it was the second coming of sliced bread with a lithium-ion battery.
Remember when electric vehicles were supposed to “save the planet”? Back when the left was practically throwing ticker-tape parades for anything that plugged into a wall socket? Ah, simpler times. Fast forward to today, and you’ve got people like Demarkeyan Cox—yes, that guy—allegedly smashing into Teslas outside a Chinese buffet in Texas with a mini four-wheeler. Why? Still a mystery. Maybe Elon Musk tweeted something too logical that morning.
Here’s the kicker. Teslas aren’t just electric cars with fancy doors. They’ve got cameras. All over. Like Big Brother, but make it sleek. So when Cox decided to allegedly crash his little ATV into one outside the Golden Palace in Texarkana, he didn’t just commit a crime—he starred in his own high-definition criminal highlight reel. The Sentry Mode kicked in, notified the owner—who was mid-egg roll, by the way—and caught everything.
Police didn’t have to do much sleuthing. They found Cox a mile down the road, gave him a friendly hello, and in return, he gave them a fake name. Cute. Unfortunately for him, they already had the video receipts. According to the police, he matched the footage exactly. And as if that weren’t enough, they believe he may have taken a sharp tool to two other Teslas nearby and scratched the word “Elon” into the paint like some kind of deranged fanboy turned vandal. His motivation? Still unclear. Maybe it was supposed to be performance art.
Let’s be real: these attacks aren’t hurting Elon Musk. They’re not stopping the next Tesla rollout, or the SpaceX launch, or whatever next-gen invention Musk is cooking up. All it’s doing is saddling people with felony charges, embarrassing them publicly, and giving us all something to roll our eyes at. Cox, for instance, is now facing felony criminal mischief and failure to identify, and he’s currently being held on a whopping $105,000 bail. That’s a lot of Chinese buffet visits worth of bad decisions.
And it doesn’t stop there. This is part of a pattern now. Earlier this week, incendiary devices—yes, incendiary devices—were discovered at a Tesla dealership, also in Texas. And not long ago, some genius in South Carolina reportedly managed to light himself on fire while allegedly trying to torch a Tesla charging station. Talk about karma doing its job in real time.
Now the FBI is stepping in, putting together a task force to look into this growing trend of Tesla-targeted lunacy. So if you’re out there thinking of keying a Model Y because Twitter made you mad—don’t. Not only are you not making a political statement, you’re just lining yourself up for federal charges and a very public lesson in how not to protest.
The irony here is hard to miss. Most Tesla owners? Likely Democrats. You know, the same crowd that once bought Teslas like they were virtue signals on wheels. But now, because Elon Musk had the audacity to say things that don’t align with the leftist groupthink, his cars have become the target of… the very people who probably drive them. You can’t make this stuff up. It’s like a circular firing squad powered by lithium batteries and bad ideas.
